Alucard: Well, that should about wrap things up here.
Seras: *dying* Guh… gah…
Alucard: Oh, yeah. Forgot about you. Sorry about that whole “shooting you” thing, but I know if you look deep into your heart - which is currently all over that tree - you’ll find a way to forgive me.
Luke: Perhaps I should skip to the point. My name is Luke Valentine…
Alucard: And my name is Carmen Sandiego. GUESS WHERE I AM?!
Luke: I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you here.
Alucard: Oh, so am I. And I’m failing. And I’m sorry for that. It’s just that I’m so agitated because this blond little shit strolled into my room, destroyed my 70 inch plasma screen tv, and is trying to impress me like I’m his alcoholic father.
Alucard: *whips out guns*
Alucard: Be a sport and grab daddy another beer, would you?
I want this as my ringtone.
-Alucard, Hellsing Abridged